Love Your Wife

Before we go too far into 2010, you’ll want to show your wife how much you love her, preferably with something tangible and memorable. I would suggest the following… in just ten easy steps:

1. Get a babysitter, remove kids from the house.

2. Suggest that your wife go shopping and get herself something nice. Give her a specific time when she should return.

3. Set dining room table: flowers, candles, and Andrea Bocelli playing in background

4. Put on masculine looking apron. Trust me on this. Women love men in uniform and also in an apron (providing it’s not a wimpy, frilly type).

5. Make Italian sauce. Following is a nice recipe

2 lbs. meat (Italian sausage or ground beef)
2 lg. cans (16 oz.) tomato paste
2 cloves garlic
2 tbsp. salt
1/2 tsp. oregano
2 tsp. basil
5 c. water
1 c. red wine (very important)
2 tbsp. sugar (important)
1 lg. onion, chopped
Olive oil

Brown the meat and add to a large saucepan. Sauté the onion and garlic in a little olive oil and then add to saucepan. Combine rest of ingredients with those in saucepan and bring to a gentle boil. Simmer for 2-4 hours. Serve over your favorite pasta. Can add a few sautéed mushrooms to sauce, if so desired.

6. While sauce is simmering, go to Trader Joes and pickup whatever else looks good—e.g., tomato and mozzarella antipasto, rice balls, stuffed mushrooms, Italian bread, cannoli dessert, chocolate truffles, etc. And be sure to buy imported pasta.

*Note—I know what you’re thinking-isn’t this cheating? Certainly not! Your wife will be so jazzed that you actually made sauce that you’re entitled to get a little help on the rest.

7. Boil pot of water, sprinkle in some salt, cook pasta until it’s ready (after a few minutes periodically eat a fork-full until you’re satisfied)

8. Greet wife with the apron on (make sure you have smeared a little sauce on the apron to demonstrate that you were really into it).

9. If you have an aptitude at writing poetry, go for it. If not, find something on the internet. Don’t start with “Roses are Red….” Present your poem at the start of dessert.

10. When finished, do the dishes.

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